That last one sorta sucked. That’s what I get for stealing a joke. Actually on the radio they had a comedian and people could call in with jokes they’d written and somebody called in and mentioned that whistles are not actually clean, as part of a longer list of the did-you-ever-notice-? variety. There was no joke, just the concept of whistles not really being clean. I wrote the joke. I should not have written the joke. Jerry Seinfeld should have written the joke.
Jerry Seinfeld hardly ever jokes about lesbians. Americans are not allowed to. I, however, can’t help it. They are very interesting. Also I am afraid of them for they are awesome to behold with great and terrible wrath. Like Vikings. Vikings dressed like flannel-clad homeboys, or possibly in a nice white shirt with bolero string tie. I wonder if they sell special boob-strapping tape…
I’m doing it again.
P4: Hey dad dinner’s ready and I made it.
SJ: No way! You have to be at least 10 years old to make dinner.
P4: Uh, I am 10, remember?
SJ: No way man. You’re 8. When you were three we told you you were five. We wanted to start you in school early, ‘cause you’re so clever, so we lied. You are definitely 8.
P4: Then how come I’m tallest girl in my class?
SJ: Wait I got that wrong, you’re 11. You were dumb so we started you a year late. Yeah, that’s right.
P4: I’ve seen my birth certificate.
SJ: Which one?
P4: uh…
SJ: How old are you?
P4: Eight. Grrr, TEN!
SJ: Ten? You should have made dinner.
P4: I already told... I am 10. I made dinner. Ten. Dinner. Made.
SJ: Right, let's go then.
and it was very very good.
Jerry Seinfeld hardly ever jokes about lesbians. Americans are not allowed to. I, however, can’t help it. They are very interesting. Also I am afraid of them for they are awesome to behold with great and terrible wrath. Like Vikings. Vikings dressed like flannel-clad homeboys, or possibly in a nice white shirt with bolero string tie. I wonder if they sell special boob-strapping tape…
I’m doing it again.
P4: Hey dad dinner’s ready and I made it.
SJ: No way! You have to be at least 10 years old to make dinner.
P4: Uh, I am 10, remember?
SJ: No way man. You’re 8. When you were three we told you you were five. We wanted to start you in school early, ‘cause you’re so clever, so we lied. You are definitely 8.
P4: Then how come I’m tallest girl in my class?
SJ: Wait I got that wrong, you’re 11. You were dumb so we started you a year late. Yeah, that’s right.
P4: I’ve seen my birth certificate.
SJ: Which one?
P4: uh…
SJ: How old are you?
P4: Eight. Grrr, TEN!
SJ: Ten? You should have made dinner.
P4: I already told... I am 10. I made dinner. Ten. Dinner. Made.
SJ: Right, let's go then.
and it was very very good.
3 comments:
hehehe, distroy their minds while they're young
tomorrow, start shrinking all her clothes in the dry and convince her that she's getting bigger
that's the spirit
That must be what it's like to have a father with Alzheimer's.
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