P4 plays an on-line game where her avatar is a penguin. Today her penguin was required to do mining. Mining. How the hell is a penguin supposed to mine ore from under the earth? How do you hold a 100 pound hydraulic drill against the rock face with flippers. Stubby fin-flippers.
Plus they are not very tall. What if the gold or uranium or asbestos or whatever they were mining was up high. Well that would mean they dug too far. Stupid penguins.
Plus they are not very tall. What if the gold or uranium or asbestos or whatever they were mining was up high. Well that would mean they dug too far. Stupid penguins.
If you’re going to use animals to perform hard rock mining operations what I want to see is a screaming monkey driving a team of crazed rhinoceros (or bison), which have been force-fed a diet of raw meat and gunpowder (to make them edgy), dragging a hollowed-out elephant carcass full of ore out of the pit.
Oh, see them straining against their chains as the monkey, high on gin and a quarter hit of yellow dot blotter acid, rides their backs cursing them and hitting them with a railway spike he found. See the great beasts haul that dusty carcass full of rock a vertical mile from the depths of the dark dank earth into the blinding white world above, eyes red and wild, nostrils snorting, hooves bloody and cracked.
Then a penguin gives them a smoke, a cup of coffee and a fresh monkey and back they go.
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