Local car dealership sent me a package. A DVD featuring the rally prowess of the Suzuki SX4, which from the picture looks to be a car, along with an invitation to take my own personal test drive AT MY CONVENIANCE. They’re willing to wait. Not only does it have a sporty engine, it has a roomy and versatile interior. It’s versatile. Maybe it converts to an air-hockey table. Maybe not. It’s a stupid game since they made helmets mandatory.
Since I don’t plan to buy one of their automobiles it would be ethically wrong of me to watch or enjoy the promotional DVD. I shall dispose of it forthwith lest I be temped to watch the same car drive down a variety of scenic roads while the pretty people laugh and non-smoke themselves into a froth.
They will make full use of the cup holders and sun roof. The girl passenger who is pretty and not allowed to drive will cheekily change the radio station and the man driving in aviator shades and driving gloves will use the steering-mounted controls to change it back and activate the child-lock. And they will laugh in anticipation of the sex and nachos they will have later.
No sir, they won’t tempt me with their craven images of wanton lust and rally suspension, tight cornering and eager responsiveness to my slightest touch. Hot, thrumming... I’ll be sending back a terse note thanking them for their invitation but assuring them I won’t be parting with my trusty diesel truck anytime soon. May not be fun and sporty but godamn it I’m stuck with her now, the truck that is.
1 comment:
And they will laugh in anticipation of the sex and nachos they will have later.
Mmm, nachos...
Post a Comment