Friday, December 29, 2006

Creation Story

And the Lord did jack the world into being, for there was no Mrs. Lord, and all creation lay drying on his divine belly. Except one little spatter that landed on the heavenly headboard and which did not get wiped up with the holy sock. This spatter became known as Australia and it thrived in the dark humid environment of what the Lord liked to call the Creation Station when he had the other gods over to watch hockey. The other gods would just roll their eyes for the Lord was always going on about some Mary chick he knew in Canada, but nobody had ever seen her. Then the story changed and this Mary was from Jerusalem and was in fact pregnant. It doesn’t count if its immaculate, they told him.

Eventually the Buddha got a plasma screen and the other gods stopped going over to the Lord’s all together and he was left to brood in his cloud-filled bachelor’s paradise for eternity. Eating frozen pizza and listening to harp music in his underwear all day, he had no desire to be clean. And so Australia thrived, a dried crusted speck with nice beaches on God’s headboard and if you look closely you can still see it there to this day.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I want whatever drugs you're taking!

SkookumJoe said...

Just regular drugs GPG. I was going to write a long thing about why you should go back to Exo from Exxy but I just noticed now that at some point you went the other way to GPG so now I got nothing. Thanks.

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

I'm still interested in this debate you have. Exo vs. Exxy. Go for it.