So the hooker said “If Ed shows up one of us is leaving.”
The first part of that story is a bit average, but that’s a cracker of an ending.
As it turned out Ed had already been arrested by that point. Big tall goofy-Newfie Ed. Anal-retentive pris by day, violent drunken brawler by night. Once threatened me bodily for leaving a tiny piece of onion on the counter top
“What if I go to make a sandwich and put my bread there and get onion on my sandwich? I hate onion”
Although I’m 6’4”, he was 6’6” and had 80 pounds on me. It was like living with a manic depressive nagging harpy who could beat the shit out of you. Not that he ever did, but he was a Newfie and they’re all a bit snaky. You gotta watch them. Some of them are clever enough to escape their island home into mainland Canada where they blend in, masquerading as roofers or unemployed people.
Newfoundland became a province of Canada in 1949 during the boom in the clubbed baby seal trade. Every year the government issued them clubs and let them loose on the ice for a few weeks where they’d run around clubbing things - seals, seagulls, ice fairies, nazis – whatever they found. Everything was going fine until the bottom of the clubbed seal market dropped out with the introduction of farmed baby seals, raised in vats, which could be produced cheaply and were a delight to club.
Many of the Newfies, having nothing left to club, simply walked into the sea. It was a sad day in Canadian history. Many of the clubs were not returned.
The first part of that story is a bit average, but that’s a cracker of an ending.
As it turned out Ed had already been arrested by that point. Big tall goofy-Newfie Ed. Anal-retentive pris by day, violent drunken brawler by night. Once threatened me bodily for leaving a tiny piece of onion on the counter top
“What if I go to make a sandwich and put my bread there and get onion on my sandwich? I hate onion”
Although I’m 6’4”, he was 6’6” and had 80 pounds on me. It was like living with a manic depressive nagging harpy who could beat the shit out of you. Not that he ever did, but he was a Newfie and they’re all a bit snaky. You gotta watch them. Some of them are clever enough to escape their island home into mainland Canada where they blend in, masquerading as roofers or unemployed people.
Newfoundland became a province of Canada in 1949 during the boom in the clubbed baby seal trade. Every year the government issued them clubs and let them loose on the ice for a few weeks where they’d run around clubbing things - seals, seagulls, ice fairies, nazis – whatever they found. Everything was going fine until the bottom of the clubbed seal market dropped out with the introduction of farmed baby seals, raised in vats, which could be produced cheaply and were a delight to club.
Many of the Newfies, having nothing left to club, simply walked into the sea. It was a sad day in Canadian history. Many of the clubs were not returned.
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