Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Gliese is the word

Got us a contender planet for life in the void. The Scientists say they found one about earth-size, the right distance from its sun which itself is of the good sort, not one of those nasty red giants spewing helium exhaust everywhere, and the best part is it’s only 21 light years away.

They’re calling it Gliese 581c, I guess so as not to confuse it with all the other Gliese’s out there. It’s a very popular name in astronomy. I believe it’s Klingon for Susan.

Orbits its sun, also called Susan, every 13 days. Summer one week, winter the next. Imagine the tourist trade. Its gravity is twice that of earth which is ok because the average working day would be 17.08 minutes.

I was thinking just the other day I need to get out a bit more, claim a planet for myself. Unfortunately the FUC-U is only capable of 88% light speed, being a diesel, and it would take about 30 years to get there (depending on traffic). I can’t go that long without a piss.

But I’m thinking I could strap Baboon X-2 to the water rocket and send him off to claim the planet for Skookdom. Double gravity would do him good, settles the spine and helps constipation, keeps the brain on its stem. Also I think he’s been bogarting the pot while I’m at work.

2 comments:

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

You could wear those astronaut diapers. I hear they're popular with space travelers, and also crazy people who want to stab others 900 miles away.

SkookumJoe said...

i forgot about the stabbing