Airport is on TV. Dean Martin’s flying the plane and Burt Lancaster’s trying to get the emergency runway clear in time. A character actor is smoking a cigar. Hang on, here they come – 2 miles from touchdown, glide path good…
“How’s she handling”
“A bit sluggish”
“I may need your help with the rudder”
very dramatic music
Touchdown - Will it stop in time?
very loud dramatic xylophone music
It’s not stopping!
very loud dramatic xylophone music with trumpets
Oh, ok it’s stopping now.
Well, there you go. Bomber blew a hole in the plane, they managed to land without too much trouble, everybody’s ok (except the bomber who got sucked out, fittingly), Dean Martin’s getting back together with a pregnant woman he seems to know and Burt Lancaster made it home in time for his wife’s big dinner. Several sub-plots were resolved.
“How’s she handling”
“A bit sluggish”
“I may need your help with the rudder”
very dramatic music
Touchdown - Will it stop in time?
very loud dramatic xylophone music
It’s not stopping!
very loud dramatic xylophone music with trumpets
Oh, ok it’s stopping now.
Well, there you go. Bomber blew a hole in the plane, they managed to land without too much trouble, everybody’s ok (except the bomber who got sucked out, fittingly), Dean Martin’s getting back together with a pregnant woman he seems to know and Burt Lancaster made it home in time for his wife’s big dinner. Several sub-plots were resolved.
And not one damn snake.
4 comments:
If you dug Airport, might I suggest Air Crew, the first ever Soviet disaster movie?
The plot is a bit sluggish at first (like Deano's rudder) but soon picks up pace as the airline crew rush to save stranded miners in a Central Asian closed city from a volcanic erruption... all the while discussing the Marxist-Leninist dialectic of taking one's heels off on the emergency slide.
Did you actually SEE "Snakes on a Plane"? Until you do, don't judge.
PS: It's best if you get high and/or very drunk before seeing it.
weasle that sounds excellent. I wonder if there's a north korean one.
nah, the bomber was some old failed businessman trying for life insurance to leave his poor wife to make up for years of heartache. Sonny Bono played the pregnant lady.
Actually I have SOAP on this very computer - the line about the snakes was because I couldn't think how to end it. And I so wanted it to end.
I feel that way too sometimes. So i just fake it and it usually ends soon thereafter.
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