anything

Big Daz: Hey, what the fuck was that?

SJ: It was…

BD:…That noise sort of like “boing!" I heard it.

SJ: It was…

BD: Did you hear that SJ? Sort of like “Boing!” ?

SJ: It was my phone, for fuck sake. Calm down. Message from Mrs Joe, she’s in town. What do I want for dinner?

BD: How do I know. How about prawn cocktail and rice?

SJ: Nah. I had rice and chilli for lunch. Fuck I don’t know, it’s a loaded question.

BD: Just say “anything”

SJ: No, that’s no good. I gotta pick something. Anything but chicken. Sick of chicken. That’s too long to message. Jeez time’s running out Daz, she’s probably waiting for an answer before she comes home from town.

BD: Fish?

SJ: Hmm, maybe fish and chips. Nah too greasy. Don’t feel like a burger either. Shit I have to write something, I’ll just have to go with “anything” and hope it works.

*SJ begins to laboriously peck out a message- ANY..T..HIN..G...MY....P..ET -when the landline rings…

SJ: Jesus! I’m typing it woman! *picks up the phone* Hello?

Mrs SJ: Hi

SJ: Jesus! I’m typing it woman!

MSJ: What? Hello?

SJ: ANYTHING!

MSJ: *crackle, static - beeeep*

SJ: She’s gone. *presses SEND* I tell you Daz people like you and me that can’t text very fast are going to be ostracized, that means cast out.

BD: What, you can send messages on that thing?

SJ: It's a telephone, Daren.

*boing* BURGERS OR FISH?

SJ: Christ on a pony. B..U..R..GE..R.

BD: What, you push once for A and twice for B?

SJ: Fuck sake Daz, it’s not new.

*boing* OK

That was three hours ago and they’re just pulling in now. Man, how long would it have taken in the old days, without instant communication? Weeks, I bet. She would have had to scrawl a note and hire a fast runner. There’s a pretty big hill on the way here, I’d have starved to death.