According to at least one anthropologist the peoples of Easter Island came undone because they used up all the trees, the soil blew away and they couldn’t grow sweet potatoes anymore. And, because there were no trees left, their boats fell into disrepair and they could no longer fish.
I imagine a meeting where they discussed what to do with the last tree. A great number wanted to use it to make weapons to go beat up those Small Head statue makers, some wanted to make timbers to help erect more Big Head statues, some thought it should be saved for cooking fuel and one lady thought a nice armoire and matching hutch would go nice in the dining room. There was one guy though, way up the back, who suggested they fix the boats. Their ancestors had been sea-farers to come here and surely they could build some boats and go somewhere else. He had heard Hawaii was nice, there were pineapples. But the others cried “No, Hawaii is too touristy. Let us cut down the tree and burn it so the smoke will rise high and show the Hawaiians we consider them stupid and impotent during intercourse.” – or something to that effect, the result being no boats were built and they starved to death.
What’s the moral? Try not to get stuck on an island with stupid people? Smoke makes Hawaiians impotent? You don’t put a hutch on an armoire? Hell if I know. I spent ten minutes on it and moved on.
I imagine a meeting where they discussed what to do with the last tree. A great number wanted to use it to make weapons to go beat up those Small Head statue makers, some wanted to make timbers to help erect more Big Head statues, some thought it should be saved for cooking fuel and one lady thought a nice armoire and matching hutch would go nice in the dining room. There was one guy though, way up the back, who suggested they fix the boats. Their ancestors had been sea-farers to come here and surely they could build some boats and go somewhere else. He had heard Hawaii was nice, there were pineapples. But the others cried “No, Hawaii is too touristy. Let us cut down the tree and burn it so the smoke will rise high and show the Hawaiians we consider them stupid and impotent during intercourse.” – or something to that effect, the result being no boats were built and they starved to death.
What’s the moral? Try not to get stuck on an island with stupid people? Smoke makes Hawaiians impotent? You don’t put a hutch on an armoire? Hell if I know. I spent ten minutes on it and moved on.
3 comments:
hey, who's the artwork by?
why didn't anyone at the meeting suggest planting more trees?
Monuments of Easter Island, 1775, by William Hodges (1744 - 1797)
the symbolic burning of the last tree in the name of vanity represents man's consistent drive to do exactly the wrong thing first.
You could replace "peoples of Easter Island" with "American Republican party members" and change "Big Head statues" with "things named after Ronald Reagan", and it sounds a little too familiar.
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