To all my friends, colleagues and acquaintances casual, formal and sport:
To do my part for global warming and to help reduce overhead costs I will no longer be operating the portion of my brain which processes hints, clues, allusions, insinuations or implications. I will no longer be accepting conversations requiring I read between the lines, catch your drift, glean your intent or otherwise gain some inkling of your inner mental workings without prior arrangement.
Mind reading services are still available upon request, however I regret they will now attract a $29 processing fee and/or a further extrapolation fee depending on the vagueness level and metaphor count.
Please note: due to sanity regulations we are no longer able to accept clichés or double entendres at this facility. In all cases please allow ten (10) working days for me to “get it”.
To do my part for global warming and to help reduce overhead costs I will no longer be operating the portion of my brain which processes hints, clues, allusions, insinuations or implications. I will no longer be accepting conversations requiring I read between the lines, catch your drift, glean your intent or otherwise gain some inkling of your inner mental workings without prior arrangement.
Mind reading services are still available upon request, however I regret they will now attract a $29 processing fee and/or a further extrapolation fee depending on the vagueness level and metaphor count.
Please note: due to sanity regulations we are no longer able to accept clichés or double entendres at this facility. In all cases please allow ten (10) working days for me to “get it”.
SJ
2 comments:
Is it because you live with 3 females?
nah, women can't help it.
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