As usual, it ends badly for the French

A man on television just said “China is building the city of the future”. Wow, I wonder how far in the future they’re going with it. I mean you could just copy your city out of a street directory but give it hydrogen powered traffic lights and call it the city of the future. Do they mean All The Way into the future? To the end of time? Bold, sure, but would we be able to cope? We’d be walking around asking each other “what next?” and answering “nothing it’s the end of time” and then saying “but then what?” and giving ourselves a headache.

Of course, we would have forgotten it’s only the city of the future, not the actual future. But still, the pain. It would prevent us from doing anything except developing pain medications and Institutes of Pain Research and more Shrek movies and nothing would get done. This is nature’s way of restoring the balance. Nobody would be worried about hydrogen powered things and the cities would revert to present tense, probably even go back a little for good measure. Instead China would be building the City Of A Few Years Ago and the French would go back to rioting in the streets and chopping each other’s heads off with a giant razor blade.

You know they want to. They ain’t right in the head. Look at poodles.