Jack the dog is getting fat. He’s eight years old and wolfs his food down. The problem is he is not a wolf. Wolves are in good shape. He swallows his food without even chewing, partly because he has less teeth than he used to and partly because he is a paranoid wreck. He’s convinced every feeding is the last and he’ll be damned if that smart-ass bitch Jessie is going to get his last meal. She is smarter than him and does manage to take whatever he has whenever she wants. Then she does a little dance. She really is a smart-ass bitch.
I’ve tried cutting back their food but then they go manic. Chewing on things, barking, tearing up their bedding, shitting in the no shit zones. It’s like Attica. I’ve tried tying them up and giving them separate bowls but then Jack pouts, convinced he’s been punished for something while Jessie got whatever treat was in the good bowl. Untied with separate bowls Jack tries to guard both and gets none, which further fuels his distrust of the world.
I have hit on a solution. I now give them 25% less food then I fill up a big bowl, actually an old wok, with warm water and a half a cup of milk. Jessie cottoned on pretty quick that it was a scam and she leaves most of the milk-water to Jack who uh, laps it up. When he finishes it, if he’s still skittish I fill that sucker up again. Some nights he drinks 5-6 litres of it until his lapping pace is down to five or six a minute and he looks about to fall over. Then he staggers over to his bed and crashes with a swollen belly full of warm water.
He’s losing weight, feeling satisfied and thinking maybe, just maybe, for once, he’s winning.
I’ve tried cutting back their food but then they go manic. Chewing on things, barking, tearing up their bedding, shitting in the no shit zones. It’s like Attica. I’ve tried tying them up and giving them separate bowls but then Jack pouts, convinced he’s been punished for something while Jessie got whatever treat was in the good bowl. Untied with separate bowls Jack tries to guard both and gets none, which further fuels his distrust of the world.
I have hit on a solution. I now give them 25% less food then I fill up a big bowl, actually an old wok, with warm water and a half a cup of milk. Jessie cottoned on pretty quick that it was a scam and she leaves most of the milk-water to Jack who uh, laps it up. When he finishes it, if he’s still skittish I fill that sucker up again. Some nights he drinks 5-6 litres of it until his lapping pace is down to five or six a minute and he looks about to fall over. Then he staggers over to his bed and crashes with a swollen belly full of warm water.
He’s losing weight, feeling satisfied and thinking maybe, just maybe, for once, he’s winning.
1 comment:
Wow, freaky. I have two dogs with the same problem: the paranoid German Shepherd guards the food from the Rottweiler. I got so tired of the stupidity that I tried sitting with them while they eat their dinner, but their conversational skills are somewhat lacking and I got bored.
I like your solution though...
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