Saturday, July 28, 2007

tree hugger

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? Wave.

Or so the story goes, but it has flaws. What if the one-armed man is bitter about his deficiency and does not feel friendly? Or, he may be friendly but dull of mind from previous waving incidents and no longer responds to normal social gestures. He might be committing suicide and is building up the courage to wave. Waving at him too soon would throw him off and he’d cling even tighter. No good at all.

Another way is to throw rocks at him. But that can just force him higher. You’d have to chop the tree down then, and that would be bad for the global warming.

What the hell is he doing up there anyway? You never see one-legged men up trees, or lepers. They stay on the ground. What’s his problem? Did he lose his kite? Is he trying to see if he can see his house from here?

I’ll try poking at him with a long stick.

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