Monday, April 10, 2006

If your knees bent the other way, what would chairs look like?

When did I start making that little noise whenever I stand or sit? Not the rapid-fire cracking of my joints, not the faint sloshing from my head, I mean that little “oof” sound. It seems I’m requiring internal air pressure to keep me upright these days…the “oof” is the sound of air escaping to allow bending at the middle. Its opposite , “OOP”, is made when standing. The sound comes from the re-pressurizing of the system, though there is a lilt of sadness to it This is because standing up necessarily means the end of sitting, which I am beginning to enjoy on a par greater than was common in my youth. My youth ended in 2004 I think. Expired. I never got a renewal card in the mail, and when I called up they said the account was closed as I wasn’t keeping the minimum amount. Looks like its happened. I’m finally a grown-up, damn it.

I know! I’ll get a sports car…that’ll fix it. Forget the younger woman though, how would I explain the constant “oofing”?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

does a sports car come with a renewal card? it seems that i have lost mineand would very much so want it back

SkookumJoe said...

simply bring the car and registration papers to: Skookum Headquarters, Other Side Of The World, for a new renewal card and a complimentary air freshener.