When I applied for an Australian driver’s license I had to answer 40 multiple choice questions on a computer. One of the questions was
If the evaluator asks you for a bribe and you give it to them:
1) Only the evaluator will be charged by the police.
2) Both of you will be charged by the police.
3) You will receive your license.
The answer was of course number 3. This is New South Wales where corruption has a proud history. I had to take a short safety course which allows me to enter building sites for work and the instructor told us they caught a guy selling crane operator’s tickets. Cranes are those big tall things that lift heavy objects high in the air and tip over if you do it wrong. Well there’s 3000 operators in NSW who’s tickets are no good. One guy they found was two days in the country and spoke no English but he had a crane ticket.
Foreman: Hey watch out for the power line!
Crane Op: (smiles and nods) “Ok yes!”
Foreman: No look up, UP! Not thumbs up, dickhead, look… Ok everybody stay clear until we can get the power shut off and retrieve the body. Jim cancel the concrete truck, we can’t pour today.
That was construction site lingo. Don’t let the brassy exterior fool you, they were crying on the inside. They’d all been looking forward to pour day and now it was ruined. Jim had made scones for after but nobody felt much like eating them and they went to waste. They keep telling him he uses too much cinnamon but he’s proud, is Jim.
It’s just his way.
That’s old lady lingo. It means “yes he’s a dickhead but there’s nothing you can do about it”. And when old ladies say “oh stop, you’re making me blush”, it means put your pants back on or I’ll cut you. That’s what they told me at the hospital anyway.
If the evaluator asks you for a bribe and you give it to them:
1) Only the evaluator will be charged by the police.
2) Both of you will be charged by the police.
3) You will receive your license.
The answer was of course number 3. This is New South Wales where corruption has a proud history. I had to take a short safety course which allows me to enter building sites for work and the instructor told us they caught a guy selling crane operator’s tickets. Cranes are those big tall things that lift heavy objects high in the air and tip over if you do it wrong. Well there’s 3000 operators in NSW who’s tickets are no good. One guy they found was two days in the country and spoke no English but he had a crane ticket.
Foreman: Hey watch out for the power line!
Crane Op: (smiles and nods) “Ok yes!”
Foreman: No look up, UP! Not thumbs up, dickhead, look… Ok everybody stay clear until we can get the power shut off and retrieve the body. Jim cancel the concrete truck, we can’t pour today.
That was construction site lingo. Don’t let the brassy exterior fool you, they were crying on the inside. They’d all been looking forward to pour day and now it was ruined. Jim had made scones for after but nobody felt much like eating them and they went to waste. They keep telling him he uses too much cinnamon but he’s proud, is Jim.
It’s just his way.
That’s old lady lingo. It means “yes he’s a dickhead but there’s nothing you can do about it”. And when old ladies say “oh stop, you’re making me blush”, it means put your pants back on or I’ll cut you. That’s what they told me at the hospital anyway.
And that’s how corruption belittles us all. And we learned that concrete comes in a truck.
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