How does the third person write his memoirs?

Do you see that scrolling thing over there? ------->

Not the clock, above that. Doesn’t seem to work with Firefox. I prefer to blame the inventor of Hyper Text Markup Language, rather than my rudimentary knowledge of its use. Anyway it’s a clever and amusing little scrolly thing which announces Something Big is happening on Sunday August 19th. Probably some lame contest or baboon army thing. He hasn’t trotted that shit out for a while.

Hmm, got all 3rd person there for a minute. I don’t trust novels written in the third person as its akin to hearsay which is spelled a little like heresy and is similar in meaning. How the fuck did Marc Twain know what Huck and Tom got up to on the raft? He wasn’t there. And it's frankly a little creepy to imagine two shirtless boys on a raft accompanied by an old man in a white suite with handle bar moustaches, spouting folksy sayings and earthy yet poignant parables highlighting human foibles, its disgusting.

So stop by Sunday and see what stupid gimmick he’s got going now. Damn he’s doing it again.