Monday, August 13, 2007

I Used My Magnets

I was thinking I might go on the space shuttle. They’d let me on because of all the good work I did. They’d let me on for sure ‘cause of that one time I saved George Bush. Used my magnets to get the alien probes out of his head. Looks like they put some back, though.

I can’t be everywhere. Not like God, or that fine dust that settles on everything after witches are burned. Most people don’t realize all the toxic fumes that come off a burning witch. They have shocking hygiene, some of them.

Witches were the cat-ladies of their day, living alone in the forest with 20-odd cats and a broom handle for company. Misunderstood and shunned, they lived quietly, making a simple life for themselves and eating any children they found. They bothered no one.

And kids did what they were told, boy. Don’t want to do your chores? How about we go for a little walk in the forest. You remember Grettle from up the road? You don’t see her in school anymore do you?

1 comment:

SkookumJoe said...

cranial/anal - either way they're packed in shit.