Tuesday, July 18, 2006

30 Seconds



Ok, thirty seconds and 3…2…1…

“This stunning three bedroom home is immmm-aculate inside and out. Features gallery kitchen with a cozy eating area, tiled foyer and wood heat in the living room. Downstairs features a large basement area eeeeasily converted into a play room or “hang-out space” for the teens.

Call Big Len TODAY!
’cause a Len-deal is a Good-deal…for you!
"

How’s that?

17 seconds.

Shit. I can’t drag that out anymore, it’ll sound like Keifer Sutherland in Young Guns when they took peyote.

Who?

He talked reeeaaaallllll ssssslllllllloooooowwwww. Why is this a thirty second ad?

He paid to run a thirty but he hasn’t got much worth talking about, I guess.

Dickhead. I could say the catch-line twice, beginning and end - with a pause it would get me another 5-8 seconds but A: it’s not enough and B: that catch-line sucks and I feel like a whore saying it. What the fuck is a “Len-deal”? I mean, it’s just his name with the word deal attached, what’s that? And who made these notations – “emphasis” ?

Big Len. He said last time you didn’t emphasize “YOU” enough.

Well who else? Was he worried they’d think it meant a good deal for someone else but not necessarily them? Would people be at home wondering how to qualify for a Len-deal? Worried about getting the right sort of letter of introduction, perhaps calling in that favor from the mayor (“do we still have the negatives? In the 3rd drawer, dear”). How about I do it in 15, and you just run it twice in a row, tell him it’s a new marketing thing.


Can’t. Got me in shit last time, you ready? 30 seconds…

I know

and 3…2…1…

6 comments:

Sandra said...

Cool - have you got one of those super-deep growling voices?

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

We need audio clips!!

SkookumJoe said...

yup, women dig the deep voice. God's cruel irony to make my one attractive feature invisible.

I also have the ability to recognize my own voice on tape (most people can't)which, so far, has proved completely useless.

Sandra said...

Definitely we need an audio clip, then.

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

I sound like a chipper white girl when I hear myself on tape. But in my head it's all sultry Latina.

exile said...

exo- it's alright, i sound like a gay homosexual when i have to do announcements over the intercom at work