T is for Toothbrush (that's good enough for me)

Sometimes things are good enough. Toilet paper, for example, should be soft sure...but scented? Why would I want paper that smells like lavender? Once it's been, ah, used am I supposed to have a sniff and think "wow, you can hardly smell the shit!" My toothbrush doesn't fit it's holder. The toothbrush holder was designed for the old style brush - straight plastic handle with bristles at one end and in the Dee-lux model, a little rubber nipple thing on the other end, purpose unknown. My current toothbrush is a multi-angled, rubber gripped, flexi-headed marvel. No more worry of the brush flying from my grip during vigorous cleaning operations and the variable pressure head allows for brushing in low gravity environments. That's handy, but it still doesn't fit the holder. Then there are the "women's personal hygiene products" - the longest running gimmick battle of then all. First the ads relied on clinical absorbency tests which escalated until some products were shown to be so super absorbent there was a danger of the product actually sucking away the user's bodily fluids completely, leaving only a dry husk in a cocktail dress, grasping the "stylish disposal pouch". Next they went to wings and flaps...followed by ailerons and landing gear...there was talk of an emergency eject mechanism incorporating explosive bolts and a tiny parachute. These days they are selling tampons in designer packets to "match your mood" and I believe a GPS system will be next.

I'm going to market a range of hip retro greenie/organic toilet gear. For toothbrush a sprig of juniper branch, for paper a Sears catalogue nailed to the wall, and for women’s products…

It would be smart to stop writing now.

Sometimes things are good enough.