The Australian government recently realized an unacceptably high number of students were actually finishing high school and going on to university. It dawned on them, with an aging population already demanding every bloody cent, subsidy, and service it has coming – who was going to clean up the shit? Old people shit like crazy – my wife is a nurse in The Retirement Belt – she knows her shit, literally. Old people will shit while standing drinking a cup of tea, then just wander away, spreading the love. Apparently it is illegal to just hose them off in the yard so someone has to clean up the shit and the Shitter, making them the Shitee.
The government woke up in a cold sweat one night, this was because it had been using its left hand lately and felt vaguely un-faithful, but while it was awake it realized that soon there would be a national crisis. Once, years ago, the Government’s father (a proper dictator) made the Government crawl under the house and clear out a nest of dead rats that were starting to smell. When the Government tried to boycott, it’s father vetoed it’s ear and said “It’s a shitty job, but somebody has to do it.” The father then added “Not me.” because the Government still didn’t get it.Well the government got it now, yes sir, ‘Not Me’. People were needed to do the Shitee jobs and lawyers and engineers and marketing sluts called Drew or Shyann just couldn’t be paid enough to care. What was needed were tradesmen, to build shit-houses and lay pipes to take shit away. Install pumps to push shit uphill or far out to sea, install hand rails to avoid slipping in shit until it could be cleaned by the journeyman shit wiper. And basically trained, cheap ‘medical assistants’ to wash and clean the Shitters. No need to know too much silly medical stuff - can you rub on lotion? Make tea? Wipe up lots of shit? You’re in! Sure heart attacks and strokes occur now and then, but not near as often as shit.
The shit is constant and, short of feeding them straw and burning the result for energy to help recoup costs, the only answer was to ask…no beg… kids to drop out of the smart-track subjects, quit school in year 10 and become apprentices.
At the same time, the same government is bringing in sweeping labor reforms which will strip the average blue-collar/office worker of most of the entitlements won over a hundred years. Sick kid, can’t come in? Fired. Can’t work overtime on short notice? Fired. You can be pressured into giving up your holidays to win the job. Soon they’ll make overtime rates optional, as they already look the other way. There’s talk of a minimum wage and 17 year old apprentices having to negotiate contracts of employment.
Seems to clean shit, first you must eat it.
3 comments:
holy shit
there's some shit that needs to must be handled delicately, and there's some shit that call you can do is push your way through it.
we need to quit this pinko commey bull shit and get everyone to clean up their own shit. let's face it, most of us can handle our own shit, it's everyone else's shit that really stinks.
It’s amazing how there’s always a group of people who can skip the digestion process by not having to eat shit before producing there own for others to swallow. Somehow they create it – and lots of it – then turn their noses away from the smell and assume those who have the misfortune of shoveling it will do so with a smile.
I think I understand the poo-flinging chimps at the zoo a little more now.
exile is right. nobody takes care of their shit. Complaining is easier. I couldn't find a decent job in Canada, at least in the good parts, so I tried Australia...didn't go on welfare and say poor me.
As for chimps flinging shit H. Wood (not the other H.) I always found that perfectly understandable. Prisoners do the same thing only they get the firehose turned on them. Chimps get away with it because they are 'dumb'. Who's cleaning the shit, and who's dumb?
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