Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Charlie The Mule


Old Zeke couldn't remember where the claim was. "Goldang it Charlie, where the hell is that claimsite?" But Charlie the mule didn't have an answer for he was bad with directions. Charlie was beginning to regret leaving the petting zoo in the mall on route 7 where children pelted him with carrots and there was warm hay to sleep in. Old Zeke was a sweet talker though and filled Charlie's head with images of the high canyons, and shoot-outs with claim jumpers and snuggling by the fire...He never mentioned hauling heavy saddlebags up and down mountains for days on end in sun and rain, through swarms of flies and thorny brush that scratched his legs. Now Charlie's feet hurt and the old fucker couldn't even remember where the claim site was. He felt a donkey migrain coming on. "Come on Charlie" called Old Zeke, "maybe it's over the next mountain."
The hell with this, thought Charlie. So he kicked Old Zeke to death and made his way back to the petting zoo in the mall on route 7 where he gained minor celebrity status and got his picture in the paper. He later wrote a book about his mountain ordeal which was made into a mini series starring Charlie as himself and Anthony Hopkins as Zeke.

4 comments:

exile said...

*sniffle*

the old man, the beard, the mall abduction... reminds me of my days in boyscouts

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

There's no mention of sodomy, Exile. It's nothing like your boy scout days.

Is Anthony Hopkins still alive?

SkookumJoe said...

I forgot to mention there may have been sodomy

exile said...

anthony hopkins is still alive, but only as a result of sodomy