Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Put That Thing Away

News from the outside has reached me regarding a disturbing trend, that of the beaver-flash. The gyno-glimpse. Peek-a-poon. The vaginal vista. We are reverting, people. Well, you are, I’m not playing anymore. What’s the next step? Beaver blush and twat toner? Does this colour make my cunt look slutty? Not far removed from baboons really.

I suppose at one time baboons were more reserved, with the females growing fur right down to the ankles. There was a class of baboon, however, with no particular function who required constant attention in order to justify their existence. The males of this sub-species often took intoxicants and beat up hotel staff, or trashed re-hab centres in order to stay ‘current’, while the females took to shaving their asses and painting them purple. This was to signify they were tough and liberated individuals. All the young baboons wanted to be individuals too so the boys started getting drunk and beating up things and the girls got their bums waxed and coloured. This rampant self pre-occupation caused the stagnation you see in baboon society today – their economic model is outdated, unemployment is rampant and they bite each other a lot, much like in France.

Of course such a society makes things easier for me, so I’m not completely against it. While you lot are all checking out each other’s innards I’ll be down at the waterhole scarfing down the buffalo carcass.

5 comments:

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

But in all honesty, who wants fur down to their ankles? Male baboons are notoriously impatient, and if they have to go wading through fur to find the female's lovehole, they get a little indignant. And then they start beating each other up instead of making more baby baboons.

And no one wins in that situation.

Anonymous said...

is this a post about Britney Spears?

SkookumJoe said...

fuck sake if you need to paint it purple for them to find it - who's raising these boys?

Starlet I was refering to every single person who ever flashed their pussy to a bunch of photgraphers except Britney Spears...unless you mean Britney Spears the pop star...then yes her too.

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

who's raising these boys?

Bad porn and absentee mothers.

SkookumJoe said...

godamnit this is an outrage. By the time I was 17 I could undo a bra with two fingers through a shirt and sweater without the owner noticing. As for the other, if there was fur well then damn it there was fur...you put on your eye protection and you got the job done.