click for bigness
Look they’re doing it again! Slander! Last time they claimed the Baboon Army Compound was nothing but a den of sin and vice. They forgot the debauchery. They always forget the debauchery
I’d sue but this magazine went out of business in 1954. It’s clear I’d have a case too. First off that’s no baboon, that there’s a lowland gorilla (no kilt), plain as day. Secondly, the Baboon Army is still metaphorical (except for X1 and X2) at this stage and when it does exist they won’t be slaves of course, but genetically modified cyborg mutant baboons with hearts of gold and the ability to chew out your throat and spit it in your face with the speed of a particularly speedy cobra NOT on speed, but rather mescalin. Also through a special arrangement with eighties super group Survivor, some selected baboons will receive the eye of the tiger, and iPods loaded with a specially formulated mix of death metal and bagpipe music.
Thirdly, check out that freaky lady in the picture! You don’t want to send a gorilla OR a genetically modified cyborg mutant baboon after one of those. What you want there is a whole flock of spider monkeys. Spider monkeys are great – keep them in total darkness for thirty days, give a whiff of ammonia, then throw them into the room and let them do their thing.
And finally I am not a doctor although we do have a combat doctor, technical dept., intelligence and tactics, and this guy on the payroll. Got a skill, not annoying? Ask for a button.
I’d sue but this magazine went out of business in 1954. It’s clear I’d have a case too. First off that’s no baboon, that there’s a lowland gorilla (no kilt), plain as day. Secondly, the Baboon Army is still metaphorical (except for X1 and X2) at this stage and when it does exist they won’t be slaves of course, but genetically modified cyborg mutant baboons with hearts of gold and the ability to chew out your throat and spit it in your face with the speed of a particularly speedy cobra NOT on speed, but rather mescalin. Also through a special arrangement with eighties super group Survivor, some selected baboons will receive the eye of the tiger, and iPods loaded with a specially formulated mix of death metal and bagpipe music.
Thirdly, check out that freaky lady in the picture! You don’t want to send a gorilla OR a genetically modified cyborg mutant baboon after one of those. What you want there is a whole flock of spider monkeys. Spider monkeys are great – keep them in total darkness for thirty days, give a whiff of ammonia, then throw them into the room and let them do their thing.
And finally I am not a doctor although we do have a combat doctor, technical dept., intelligence and tactics, and this guy on the payroll. Got a skill, not annoying? Ask for a button.
8 comments:
Combat doctor. I like it.
But what we need is a good lawyer...
I know a few...
I know some asshole lawyers. Infact I'm pretty sure I have the market cornered in asshole so if you need one, let me know.
Lawyers? For testing purposes you mean? Give the baboons a bit of sport wot?
I didn't know we were having spider monkies too, any prototypes yet?
is there such a thing as a good lawyer?
that baboon is copping a feel
that must be the one i worked on
Yes Amanda, spider monkeys too!
No exile, yours continues to sit in its cage uh, preoccupying itself, and won't come out.
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