Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Crack Views and Terrorist Blues

I came down the hall earlier tonight to find the surviving cat hunched down, neck craned, peeking through our bedroom door, which was open just a crack. When it heard my footsteps it leapt into the air, turned one-eighty and landed already running. Shot between my legs, down the hall and hid under P4’s sleeping plank. So I stuck my eyeball up to the crack to see what all the fuss was about in time to spot Mrs Joe in her all in all, back to the door, bent right over, picking something up from the floor. Crikey, that sort of thing gets me a bit jumpy too.

US States I have visited:

Washington
Oregon
Idaho
Montana
Michigan
Florida
Tennessee
Australia
Kentucky
Ohio
Pennsylvania
New York

They probably wouldn’t let me in these days, now that Canadians need a visa. Used to be you just gave a quick description of your business and the border guard would wave you on your way whether it was to buy cheap beer or see a pro ball-game or deliver marijuana to some bikers in Tacoma. It was all very civilized, your Canadian accent and license plate was good enough. In 1998 I got on a plane and flew to Florida with only my expired student card for ID. But then a couple of terrorists snuck into the US from Canada (and that’s what gave them away incidentally, the sneaking) and the walls went up. 300 years of free passage for snowbirds heading south and draft dodgers heading north shot to hell. Where will washed up NFL players and lovesick Californians go to play now? Terrorists are so thoughtless.

3 comments:

Wisdom Weasel said...

The new passport requirement for Canada sucks. It has Maine's pathetic contingent of crap Border Patrol agents wetting their Dickies pants and misting up their mirrored shades in excitement, which can never be a good thing. Used to be that under-21s in Maine could toddle up to New Brunswick and get bilingually shitfaced while impressing the bartenders by tipping a loonie on every drink- alas, no more.

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

What's a Red-Green?

And is your cat bisexual?

SkookumJoe said...

Persian, I think.