I topped up the fish pond. It was really low. Dan the fish was confined to the deep end and could not venture up to the waterfall anymore. But it’s all full now and I wonder what it’s like for Dan to suddenly have twice as much space available. He was swimming around eating now-submerged mosquito larvae along the rocks. That’s his way of being amazed.
When I was 14 I tried to boil urine on the stove. I was trying to make phosphorus. It made a very, really very bad smell. You should do that outside.
One thing I did do outside was accidentally light a pot of melted wax on fire. I had a vague notion to make candles. I found out why they say never to put water on a grease fire when I turned the garden hose on it. Big fireball shot up, just like in the movies. It was pretty cool but it burned all one side of the cherry tree and that was hard to explain.
One summer I got sent to camp. Bible camp. Nobody asked me, they just sent me. It was run by Perky Teenage Christians and even at the age of nine I was wary of the optimistic. I couldn’t swim very well and was not able to tread water for the required two minutes to receive some sew-on patch and a John The Baptist bookmark with some of his catchier sayings on it. But Perky Christian Girl felt bad ‘cause everybody’s a winner, damn it, and gave me the damn thing anyway. I may be a lot of things but I’m certainly not someone who claims to be a better swimmer than they are, that’s just wrong, so I threw it away.
When I was 14 I tried to boil urine on the stove. I was trying to make phosphorus. It made a very, really very bad smell. You should do that outside.
One thing I did do outside was accidentally light a pot of melted wax on fire. I had a vague notion to make candles. I found out why they say never to put water on a grease fire when I turned the garden hose on it. Big fireball shot up, just like in the movies. It was pretty cool but it burned all one side of the cherry tree and that was hard to explain.
One summer I got sent to camp. Bible camp. Nobody asked me, they just sent me. It was run by Perky Teenage Christians and even at the age of nine I was wary of the optimistic. I couldn’t swim very well and was not able to tread water for the required two minutes to receive some sew-on patch and a John The Baptist bookmark with some of his catchier sayings on it. But Perky Christian Girl felt bad ‘cause everybody’s a winner, damn it, and gave me the damn thing anyway. I may be a lot of things but I’m certainly not someone who claims to be a better swimmer than they are, that’s just wrong, so I threw it away.
1 comment:
I swear, the labels get better and better every day.
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