Did you break it yet? You’ve been working and worrying, bending and twisting that thing for so long. See it going white from stress? I heard it complain earlier. Heard it submitted a K-104 complaint form to head office. It’s ok, I intercepted it before it left and put it in an envelope marked Social Fund. You want my hammer?
It’s a 26 ounce framing hammer without, I repeat without, a knurled head. That knurling shit is for pussies. You can use it if you want but don’t get it all sweaty, I hate that. And don’t ever ever ever never throw it at me, even in fun. I hate that almost as much. I only like that sometimes.
Ahhh, but there you’ve broken it now. See the ragged edges where it tried to hold on? Careful, they’re sharp. They know the score. You should hit it some more for that. That’s the thing about breaking, the more you break the more there is to break. It can be hard work, the pieces get smaller. And there’s the paperwork, so confusing.
But you’ll work it out, you’ll see that for yourself. You keep that hammer until you get settled, get your feet. And ankles. You keep it as long as you need to but don’t you ever never throw it at me. We ain’t like that.
It’s a 26 ounce framing hammer without, I repeat without, a knurled head. That knurling shit is for pussies. You can use it if you want but don’t get it all sweaty, I hate that. And don’t ever ever ever never throw it at me, even in fun. I hate that almost as much. I only like that sometimes.
Ahhh, but there you’ve broken it now. See the ragged edges where it tried to hold on? Careful, they’re sharp. They know the score. You should hit it some more for that. That’s the thing about breaking, the more you break the more there is to break. It can be hard work, the pieces get smaller. And there’s the paperwork, so confusing.
But you’ll work it out, you’ll see that for yourself. You keep that hammer until you get settled, get your feet. And ankles. You keep it as long as you need to but don’t you ever never throw it at me. We ain’t like that.
1 comment:
I broke it into little bitty pieces and they got stuck in my drain. Can I borrow your plunger now?
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