Stories from the Sydney Morning Herald weekend print edition:
A Sydney man was bitten five times by a death adder. Despite the name, death adders are not as toxic as brown snakes and are rather shy in comparison but five bites was enough to cause a heart attack and put him in intensive care where he remains. The story I heard was that he saw only the tail and thought it was a lizard so he picked it up. Dumb fuck, lizards bite too.
After a call from Washington overnight, Prime Minister John Howard announces he will be sending Australian warships to aid in blockading North Korea. He did not say if this included the non-operational submarines and crash-prone Sea King helicopters purchased from the United States navy recently. Howard got the US War Machine express version. It doesn’t come with all the features of the full version, like working radar and weapons systems and heated seats.
An ad for a handheld “deep penetrating” massage unit looks suspiciously like something the missus used to keep in her top drawer, ‘cept hers was pink.
Little Bindy Irwin is due to be sent back in time so she can sing at the Sydney Olympics in 2000 instead of that other little girl, thereby becoming Australia’s official Little Darling six years sooner. The other little girl is to be deported.
After a call from Washington overnight, Prime Minister John Howard announces he will be sending Australian warships to aid in blockading North Korea. He did not say if this included the non-operational submarines and crash-prone Sea King helicopters purchased from the United States navy recently. Howard got the US War Machine express version. It doesn’t come with all the features of the full version, like working radar and weapons systems and heated seats.
An ad for a handheld “deep penetrating” massage unit looks suspiciously like something the missus used to keep in her top drawer, ‘cept hers was pink.
Little Bindy Irwin is due to be sent back in time so she can sing at the Sydney Olympics in 2000 instead of that other little girl, thereby becoming Australia’s official Little Darling six years sooner. The other little girl is to be deported.
7 comments:
Everybody knows that the UK is THE best place for obsolete military equipment.Managed to sell the Canadians a submarine that sank about 200 yards off shore,it didn`t even get to Canada and they didn`t get a receipt.
I have just read in "The Independent" on line edition, that the UK has been REFUSED access to US crash prone Sea King helicopters, and is going to plan C, borrowing helicopters from A-list celebs and Richard Bransen types!
Can we see a picture of the "massage" unit?
of course exo, the reader is king, er, queen at SJ. I'll find it and throw it on the scanner.
i guess the "snake charmer" was trying to fill the void that Steve Irwin left
citizen 146- um, i don't understand what you mean. i thought submarines are supposed to sink
But of course, this one had the critical fault of sinking before anyone pressed the "sink" button, and then remaining sunk.
haha good one 146
Post a Comment