Friday, October 06, 2006

Tonight's episode: Terror In The Hall.

Haven’t checked the tracker in a while, had a visitor from Poland recently. Supportive people, the poles. Unfortunately located between Europe and Asia, Poland has had it rough for thousands of years. Good food though.

Can’t get doughnuts in Australia, not proper ones. You might find plain glazed at a bakery among the vanilla slices and pavlova or those ultra-dense packaged ones at convenience stores, but no bear claws or chocolate Bavarians or even good old jelly. Back in Canada during my broke and hungry period I lived off doughnuts brought to me by a girl who worked at a bakery and was in love with my house mate.

Disturbing incident earlier. Opened a fresh bag of dry dog food, very strong and distinct odour…of McDonalds. You know the smell, even if you hate the crap the smell makes you hungry. Results of widespread CIA mind control experiments in the sixties, I’d think.

Ray Kroc runs the Freemasons you know.

The new cat, Polly is not working out. We’ve had a run of good cats, ignoring the fact they all ran away or died after 2-4 years, and I was starting to think I’d been wrong in my hatred of them. But this cat, this cat is a Burmese which is close enough to a Siamese which are known cunts. Foul conniving sneaky insolent shitbags with fur. I lived with one and its owner for some years. Full on bitch and so was the cat. Every night at 3am it would start scratching up the furniture until I got up, then it would run under the bed where Owner girl slept oblivious to the evil creature. Eventually I got smart and closed the bedroom door behind me. Walked out in the dark and as my eyes adjusted I saw it under the coffee table. The cat realized it’s cover was blown and tore off around the corner and down the hall and then WHAM – I found it cornered at the end of the hall, hunkered down against the door, eyes darting, the realization setting in. This cat is turning out like that, getting in the garbage at 2am, shitting in the laundry basket (Stumpy asks to go out or uses the cat door like a civilized creature) and teasing the dogs. Yes, that’s it kitty, eat from Jack’s bowl…he liiiikes that.


Here’s another boat picture showing the guts. The third motor in the back works the rudder, or you can steer with the props, or both.

10 comments:

exile said...

you know, even well behaved cats are fucking horrible

i find the best thing to do is go pavlov on thir asses. ring a bell then sqing a golf club at them. eventually they learn to fear the bell... of course, they shit themselves when anyone rings the doorbell, but there is a cost to every victory

SkookumJoe said...

that's what I'm saying, the other cats learned to stay off the table, go outside to shit, not climb up the screens...and we all got on fine. This is one of those cats (small dogs are the same) that just learns to be sneakier about it.

SkookumJoe said...

update: i just followed a set of greasy little paw prints outside to find the cat chewing on P4's bicycle chain.

Anonymous said...

I could send you a big box of Tim Hortons doughnuts or Timbits, feed a few to the cat, it will be too fat and sleepy to do anything

Unknown said...

I miss Tim Hortons. I gave up donuts a while ago, but I love me some Tim Hortons coffee and bagels. -- And California (my home of 2 1/2 months) doesn't have his shops or even know of the Leaf Legend.

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

This cat is a Burmese which is close enough to a Siamese which are known cunts. Foul conniving sneaky insolent shitbags with fur.

Fucking hysterical. Fully fucking hysterical.

Which is the only comment I've had for people today.

citizen***146 said...

Exile is so right, there is no better use for a three wood. Our neighbour`s cats are fortunately in fear of the squirrel mafia, you have to see it to believe it.

citizen***146 said...

h wood, after enough time away you`ll realise that Tims was always crap, though I think I have got infected with what ever nano technology they put into those Boston creams

exile said...

just so you know, i have a 7 foot boa, if you ship the cat out here i'll make him "dissapear"

SkookumJoe said...

you want to strangle my cat with your feather boa?

Well, ok, I guess...you sure?