The proportion of comments to visits has fallen to something easily expressed as x/0, where x represents visits and 0 represents comments. As we all know it is wrong and impossible to divide by zero and frankly it’s causing concern with some of the technicians and statisticians here at the Beta Compound.
By the way did you know all that Y2K stuff at the turn of the century was about division by zero, not dates at all. Everyone said “The computers will think it’s 1900 again”. Again? Computers have no idea of dates or time, they just count really fast. The problem was when you tried to do math with a four digit number where the first two digits were implied…you had to decide if it was 19-something or 20-something based on context. Computers not good for that, just counting fast.
Bank: You bought your house in ‘85 so you’ve owned it for, let’s see, (06-85= -79) negative seventy-nine years…ok lets just run that through the computer and , oh it seems to be on fire.
The same thing happened two hundred years ago (Y1.8K)…
“Gads, Silus, the windmill turns counter to God’s plan!”
“No, brother, yon windmill is thinking it be 1700 again.”
“It is a windmill, it thinks nothing Silus, you twat.”
“Tis true. I am touched with stupidityness.”
“Aye, beaten with it, more like.”
and again last century (Y1.9K)
“Edward, pray check out my new incandescent light globe”
“Very grand Bartholomew, 40 watts is it?”
“Nay nay Edward, good chum, this is the latest from that Edison chap – tungsten carbide filament, 60 watts!”
“But will it continue to illuminate once we step bravely into the twentieth century?”
“It’s just a light bulb, Eddie. It doesn’t perform mathematical functions based on two-digit dates”
“Mark my words, Bartholomew, one day man will build a light globe so bright it blinds us all.”
But as we know, that never happened. The world was issued protective goggles and not many people were blinded at all.
By the way did you know all that Y2K stuff at the turn of the century was about division by zero, not dates at all. Everyone said “The computers will think it’s 1900 again”. Again? Computers have no idea of dates or time, they just count really fast. The problem was when you tried to do math with a four digit number where the first two digits were implied…you had to decide if it was 19-something or 20-something based on context. Computers not good for that, just counting fast.
Bank: You bought your house in ‘85 so you’ve owned it for, let’s see, (06-85= -79) negative seventy-nine years…ok lets just run that through the computer and , oh it seems to be on fire.
The same thing happened two hundred years ago (Y1.8K)…
“Gads, Silus, the windmill turns counter to God’s plan!”
“No, brother, yon windmill is thinking it be 1700 again.”
“It is a windmill, it thinks nothing Silus, you twat.”
“Tis true. I am touched with stupidityness.”
“Aye, beaten with it, more like.”
and again last century (Y1.9K)
“Edward, pray check out my new incandescent light globe”
“Very grand Bartholomew, 40 watts is it?”
“Nay nay Edward, good chum, this is the latest from that Edison chap – tungsten carbide filament, 60 watts!”
“But will it continue to illuminate once we step bravely into the twentieth century?”
“It’s just a light bulb, Eddie. It doesn’t perform mathematical functions based on two-digit dates”
“Mark my words, Bartholomew, one day man will build a light globe so bright it blinds us all.”
But as we know, that never happened. The world was issued protective goggles and not many people were blinded at all.
2 comments:
So did the millennium begin at Y2K or 2001? Are we supposed to count from “year zero” or 1?
The world needs Max Headroom now more than ever.
Fucking hell, you're so damn funny it hurts me in my inside parts.
(The abdomen, you perverts!)
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