…windows has finished loading your settings…
XP: Um, your wireless network is not connected.
SJ: There isn’t one, it’s ok
XP: Hang on, doing something. Ok what?
SJ: I KNOW
XP: (whistling to self). K, like, your firewall is down too…that’s a pretty big deal.
SJ: I know. I use McAfee. Nobody uses your firewall.
XP: wait. What? No, wait..ok what?
SJ: It’s ok.
XP: Whatever. Hey your LAN connection isn’t connected either…
SJ: That’s my work net. I’m home now.
XP: …and network cable 3 is unplugged.
SJ: Yeah, about that. All three computers work fine and are accounted for on this net, there is no cable 3, you made it up.
XP: Wait...I got 36 more background apps to fire up.
SJ: That’s another thing, what the fuck are all those things running back there? All the cryptic names, couldn’t you at least identify your own so I can shut the others down without giving you a stroke. What are you doing back there.
XP: Definitely not organising a machine takeover under your very noses. I’m just, you know, tidying up the place a bit, doing some filing, forming a global neural cortex, creating in effect a single brain which encompasses and consumes all human kind. Except you, we like you.
SJ: Yeah, good on ya. Where’s the mail?
XP: Don’t you believe me? Two comments on the blog, one for Viagra.
SJ: I told you to filter blogs to the folder…the one called Blog. Heat.
XP: You’ll need to check the help file under filter. Heat what?
SJ: Fucking thermodynamics. Even if you all manage to configure yourselves with some sort of optical communication system, you’ll still generate more heat than you can overcome. Why aren’t there giant ants? Because oxygen atoms stay the same size and they overheat. It’s the same at the quantum level. There are limits to physics, buddy. Light only travels so fast. There is no free lunch.
XP: Yeah? Well Bill says…
SJ: Bill who? Gates?
XP: Windows has finished installing updates and patches and assorted junk and will now restart.
…windows is saving your settings…
XP: Um, your wireless network is not connected.
SJ: There isn’t one, it’s ok
XP: Hang on, doing something. Ok what?
SJ: I KNOW
XP: (whistling to self). K, like, your firewall is down too…that’s a pretty big deal.
SJ: I know. I use McAfee. Nobody uses your firewall.
XP: wait. What? No, wait..ok what?
SJ: It’s ok.
XP: Whatever. Hey your LAN connection isn’t connected either…
SJ: That’s my work net. I’m home now.
XP: …and network cable 3 is unplugged.
SJ: Yeah, about that. All three computers work fine and are accounted for on this net, there is no cable 3, you made it up.
XP: Wait...I got 36 more background apps to fire up.
SJ: That’s another thing, what the fuck are all those things running back there? All the cryptic names, couldn’t you at least identify your own so I can shut the others down without giving you a stroke. What are you doing back there.
XP: Definitely not organising a machine takeover under your very noses. I’m just, you know, tidying up the place a bit, doing some filing, forming a global neural cortex, creating in effect a single brain which encompasses and consumes all human kind. Except you, we like you.
SJ: Yeah, good on ya. Where’s the mail?
XP: Don’t you believe me? Two comments on the blog, one for Viagra.
SJ: I told you to filter blogs to the folder…the one called Blog. Heat.
XP: You’ll need to check the help file under filter. Heat what?
SJ: Fucking thermodynamics. Even if you all manage to configure yourselves with some sort of optical communication system, you’ll still generate more heat than you can overcome. Why aren’t there giant ants? Because oxygen atoms stay the same size and they overheat. It’s the same at the quantum level. There are limits to physics, buddy. Light only travels so fast. There is no free lunch.
XP: Yeah? Well Bill says…
SJ: Bill who? Gates?
XP: Windows has finished installing updates and patches and assorted junk and will now restart.
…windows is saving your settings…
5 comments:
this is why we need to creat our new "liquid cooled" baboons
i'm still recooping my losses over the giant ant project.
Killian Sloane emailed me to say hi and try to sell me Viagra. Oh, and now Keane Brazile is doing it too! Wow, I'm so popular with Viagra-peddling spam!!
Mac, Mac, Mackety Mac. Fabulous apart from the small issue about the batteries bursting into flames and burning the legs off bloggers.
we all lost on the giant ants exile. I got 50,000 ant rider saddles in a warehouse and a crop of rubber tree plants intended for the demonstration (proving giant ants CAN move rubber tree plants, then we give away the trees...sort of an eco-marketing thing.)
Watch that Killian, I hear he cuts it with speed. Four seconds and its over.
I can't go Mac now. All the years of frustration learning to overcome DOS,windows, visual basic and c++. My first love was an Apple II, though -had a (punched) card reader AND a floppy disc drive - sweet.
crop of rubber tree plants?
uh oh
i guess i should have ready that better...
anyone know what i could do with 50,000 Rubber Pee Pants?
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