Hey I wrote one of those funny fake notices people fax around and stick up on the bulletin board at work.
Due to inflation, effort has been devalued. Employees will now be expected to give an average of 110%. As this is not possible in a base 10 numerical system, we are switching to a base 11 system. Please see Doug for your handout and new calculator. If you feel you can only give the previous level of 100% please see your supervisor who will arrange a way to fire you (don’t type that part).
A reminder to all employees we have a big month ahead and everyone is asked to pull together and give it 160%!
Copy that and stick it up at work. Tell everyone there's a secret funny code based on replacing every 12th letter with alternating 7th and 5ths unless they are both vowels in which case substitute the 6th. That's the sixth. Tell them it predicts the future and names the names of men destined to marry them. Tell them it will help them lose weight in places and grow rock hard in others. Tell them it cures heartburn and gout and dry wasting sickness. Tell them it repairs fucking outboard motors. Just tell them something. I can’t tell you how much this means because I don’t know. But it must mean a lot if I took the time to write it down.
You’re not going to do it are you. Is it because I ate your yogurt cause I didn’t eat your yogurt. I fucking hate yogurt, it’s alive you know. I may have used your yogurt but that’s entirely different, it was an emergency. The power was out.
Due to inflation, effort has been devalued. Employees will now be expected to give an average of 110%. As this is not possible in a base 10 numerical system, we are switching to a base 11 system. Please see Doug for your handout and new calculator. If you feel you can only give the previous level of 100% please see your supervisor who will arrange a way to fire you (don’t type that part).
A reminder to all employees we have a big month ahead and everyone is asked to pull together and give it 160%!
Copy that and stick it up at work. Tell everyone there's a secret funny code based on replacing every 12th letter with alternating 7th and 5ths unless they are both vowels in which case substitute the 6th. That's the sixth. Tell them it predicts the future and names the names of men destined to marry them. Tell them it will help them lose weight in places and grow rock hard in others. Tell them it cures heartburn and gout and dry wasting sickness. Tell them it repairs fucking outboard motors. Just tell them something. I can’t tell you how much this means because I don’t know. But it must mean a lot if I took the time to write it down.
You’re not going to do it are you. Is it because I ate your yogurt cause I didn’t eat your yogurt. I fucking hate yogurt, it’s alive you know. I may have used your yogurt but that’s entirely different, it was an emergency. The power was out.
5 comments:
i dont care....i just want that yogert back..it was my kids science project
What's "dry wasting sickness"?
trust me, you don't want it back.
exxy it's like regular wasting sickness with less run-off
Sounds icky just the same, thanks.
When grapes get the fruit equivalent, it turns them into raisins. When people get it, it turns them into Victoria Beckham. Sort of.
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