You know that famous picture from Iwo Jima? The one where the American soldiers are raising the flag after winning the battle? Dude on TV just now said “the next day that picture ran in almost every newspaper in the US”.
How the fuck could they have done that in 1944? They would have had to print copies non-stop and fly them directly from Iwo Jima to each newspaper in the US before each newspaper’s print deadline.
The answer is simple and confirms a theory I have long held. The soldiers found the secret Japanese teleportation machine buried under the dormant volcano in a laboratory with shiny floors and, oddly enough, no clocks. You never see a clock in an evil under-volcano laboratory. The soldiers used the machine to transport copies of the now famous photo to the folks back home to let them know all that tin and copper they donated came in handy.
Then they all farted in it and teleported the result over to Company B with their damned bugle boy, think they’re sooo good. Unfortunately one poor lad had not fully withdrawn before activation and lost part of his left buttock in the process and was awarded the Purple Heart. The buttock was promoted and later went on to serve 3 terms in the senate.
And the secret teleportation device, what became of that? Well, its work now done, the machine quietly slipped away in search of its next adventure. It never found one, however, and died in 1958 from syphilis.
How the fuck could they have done that in 1944? They would have had to print copies non-stop and fly them directly from Iwo Jima to each newspaper in the US before each newspaper’s print deadline.
The answer is simple and confirms a theory I have long held. The soldiers found the secret Japanese teleportation machine buried under the dormant volcano in a laboratory with shiny floors and, oddly enough, no clocks. You never see a clock in an evil under-volcano laboratory. The soldiers used the machine to transport copies of the now famous photo to the folks back home to let them know all that tin and copper they donated came in handy.
Then they all farted in it and teleported the result over to Company B with their damned bugle boy, think they’re sooo good. Unfortunately one poor lad had not fully withdrawn before activation and lost part of his left buttock in the process and was awarded the Purple Heart. The buttock was promoted and later went on to serve 3 terms in the senate.
And the secret teleportation device, what became of that? Well, its work now done, the machine quietly slipped away in search of its next adventure. It never found one, however, and died in 1958 from syphilis.
1 comment:
I have read that the picture was staged for a photographer as a re-enactment of the actual capture of the island.
As for how they got that photo to the US, I have no idea.
In Oliver Stone's JFK, Mr. X reports that New Zealand newspapers had already named Oswald as the killer before US authorities had actually done so.
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