I watch that Cops show sometimes. I used to hate the theme song but then I realized it was reggae music and you have to like reggae music, and by extension shows that use reggae music in some part, because otherwise it means you hate Bob Marley, who pulled reggae music right out of his ass one day, and from what I hear he was a nice man. Had funny hair though.
Did you know Bob Marley was going to name his kid Ziggy Stardust Marley but David Bowie pulled a knife on him and said “No way man, it’s not cool” and then he took off for Sulphur Jet City (as he could easily get tickets) like a glittery floating glittery sort of flying man. Glitter and float, that was his secret.
Those cops on that Cops show are sort of pricks, though. They also have funny hair. Cop hair. Cop hair is like soap operas. When you’re flicking through the channels restlessly, because you just realized you haven’t gone to work for four days and you're thinking it might take some explaining OR are high on meth and furniture polish, and you come across a soap opera you KNOW it’s a soap opera instantly. Something drab and gloomy about them that you can’t put your finger on. If you could that would be weird because they are on TV and you would have somehow reverse-transmitted part of your anatomy with no previous quantum physics degree and only standard home ingredients.
Well cop hair is like that. Sure it’s short. I got short hair, I don’t look like a cop. Tidy sideburns? Lots of dudes got lots of sideburns but don’t look like power-mad infantile sooky-mother’s-boys with a chip on their shoulder. Many have moustaches, but so do gay cowboys and men who live in the nineteenth century. Nope, nothing you can put your, well in this case you could but you'd wind up with a guy kneeling on your head, but when you see cop hair, man you know it’s a cop. Or a bus driver. Bus drivers are power mad too.
(They didn’t have reggae music in the nineteenth century, so I probably wouldn’t have watched Cops back then. But it’s still a good thing bus drivers don’t have guns.)
Did you know Bob Marley was going to name his kid Ziggy Stardust Marley but David Bowie pulled a knife on him and said “No way man, it’s not cool” and then he took off for Sulphur Jet City (as he could easily get tickets) like a glittery floating glittery sort of flying man. Glitter and float, that was his secret.
Those cops on that Cops show are sort of pricks, though. They also have funny hair. Cop hair. Cop hair is like soap operas. When you’re flicking through the channels restlessly, because you just realized you haven’t gone to work for four days and you're thinking it might take some explaining OR are high on meth and furniture polish, and you come across a soap opera you KNOW it’s a soap opera instantly. Something drab and gloomy about them that you can’t put your finger on. If you could that would be weird because they are on TV and you would have somehow reverse-transmitted part of your anatomy with no previous quantum physics degree and only standard home ingredients.
Well cop hair is like that. Sure it’s short. I got short hair, I don’t look like a cop. Tidy sideburns? Lots of dudes got lots of sideburns but don’t look like power-mad infantile sooky-mother’s-boys with a chip on their shoulder. Many have moustaches, but so do gay cowboys and men who live in the nineteenth century. Nope, nothing you can put your, well in this case you could but you'd wind up with a guy kneeling on your head, but when you see cop hair, man you know it’s a cop. Or a bus driver. Bus drivers are power mad too.
(They didn’t have reggae music in the nineteenth century, so I probably wouldn’t have watched Cops back then. But it’s still a good thing bus drivers don’t have guns.)
3 comments:
I love the labels.
I think the 19th century must have sucked. Because of the lack of internets with Australians and their funny labels.
Mustaches are always scary.
i want some of what you are on
high on sunshine and rainbows, my friend. And repeated shots to the head.
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