keep moving please

People say aliens come here. Aliens come here and pick up people and stick things up them and implant things in them and then set them free, like at gay bars. People say the aliens are inter-breeding with us because their planet is dying like Krypton did. People say when they finish inter-breeding they’re going to move here and eat us deep-fried on sticks like corn dogs. Somebody said that.

Aliens wouldn’t stop here. The solar system is a pretty crappy attraction.

Dad can we stop here? say the alien child units. No says the dad alien, this place sucks. All they have is that stupid Great Red Spot, all the rest of the planets are closed down. What about the blue one? cry the alien child units, what about the blue one? The lights are on. That’s Earth says the mother alien, it’s tacky and over-priced and I saw humans crawling all over the place. Waaa-waaa say the child units and the parent units eat them up, as is normal for aliens. If they ate them deep fried on sticks it would be ironic, but they don’t. They just sort of slurp them up.

But I don’t mind living here. It’s convenient. All my stuff is here. Living on the moon would be inconvenient. You wouldn’t be able to get pizza or breathe. Also if you go outside you explode, which is hard to recover from.