Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Wait, don't tell me

“If you don’t know, I’m not telling you”

The correct response to that is “Thank you.”

Why the fuck would you want to know anything other than what not to eat, where not to shit and how to roll over now and then to avoid pressure sores? Knowledge is not power, it is a pain in the elbow which is worse than a pain in the ass (arse in some places) as the elbow is higher than the ass and receives more, um, peptides.

I wish I didn’t know how to operate a lawnmower. I wish I didn’t know how to save mankind. The pressure is enormous. The less anybody knows the better. There’d be no terrorism if the terrorists didn’t know they were terrorists, but instead thought they were Parisian showgirls – exploding ones. You wouldn’t have to know your job because your boss wouldn’t know either and neither would the customer.

“Is this what you ordered?”
“I don’t know.”
“Me neither.”
“Ok. Well thanks then.”
“Bye now.”
“Can I…have a kiss?”
“I don’t think so.”

You see? What a wonderful world it would be.

1 comment:

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

Why do you hate Snoop Dogg? And kissing?