Australian Mythconceptions

mythconceptions

Get it? That’s what they call playing on words - pretty slick huh? I learned it from one of those hoitsy-toitsy Writer blogs you see getting around.

1) Kangaroos bound joyfully everywhere, eating from the hands of old ladies and summoning help when stupid children fall down the bore-hole (Wishing You Well).

- This is not true. Kangaroos are like deer…just as stupid, but far more agile. You don’t see much of them during the day, but at night they wait on the side of the road and launch themselves at passing cars. Or stand in the middle of the road pretending to jump left then right but eventually jumping directly at you as you approach at a rapidly-diminishing, yet still surprisingly quick, 60km/h. People around here like to get drunk and shoot them for dog meat.

2) Koalas are cute and cuddly and available in the duty-free shop.

- No. They have four inch claws and they puke on you as a defense.

3) George W. Bush is going to invite John W. Howard (Australian PM) to spend a summer with him in the mountains “roughing it”.

- Actually, that one is true. Big W did promise Little W a treat “soon as we deal with them terrorists, Johnny Boy. Here, have a free-trade agreement…”