Sunday, March 05, 2006

Rusty The Chicken Set To Publish Giant Secrets

Rusty The Chicken, sidekick to the beloved Friendly Giant (played by Order of Canada recipient Bob Homme), has released a tell-all book almost six years after Homme’s death from prostate cancer in 2000. The book, due for release in Canada later this year, has already been slammed by the likes of Mr. Dressup co-stars Casey and Finnegan (themselves in a bitter dispute over on-going royalties, and charges of sexual misconduct).

“Its bias, malicious, and self-serving…”, said Casey outside BC Superior Court where he is also facing cruelty to animal charges. “…I always hated that fucker.” Finnegan, there to support his longtime partner, nodded vigorously.

In the book, Rusty alleges massive corruption within the CBC’s notorious Children’s Programming Department in the sixties and tales of sex orgies on the set of The Beachcombers during the mid seventies.

The actor, now 78, was disabled by avian polio as a chick and was confined to a cloth bag from the age of six. When asked for comment, co-star and longtime pal of Homme, Jerome Giraffe said “[Rusty]…was sensitive about his bag…didn’t like anyone handling his bag. We didn’t associate much off-set”

A spokesperson for the CBC said “at first we thought about fighting the book’s publication in court, but we’re thinking of releasing The Friendly Giant Re-Loaded – a tighter, edgier version aimed at the brain-dead 20-something market. So we think the book may actually help. The CBC hasn’t had funding for new ideas since Hockey Night In Canada. No, seriously.”

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i never did like Casey

Anonymous said...

That Casey was always a little weasel. God knows what he did to Fiddle and Angie!