Of Princesses and Prisons

I rescued a princess once. Rescued her from a guy with a moustache while he was relieving himself in the woods. I’d been playing pool with the guy all afternoon, in the end I owed him two beers. He asked, instead, would I give him and his girl a ride to prison? They were going to visit a friend in prison. Sure, what the hell. Another of his friends was meeting them there (big party at the prison, being a Tuesday) and I pulled up behind his car, outside the prison gate. They transferred their gear over to his car then the two guys went off to take a piss in the woods by the road.

The girl suddenly said “Those guys picked me up three days ago and won’t let me go home! Will you give me a ride to the bus depot?”

I said “Ok, get your shit quick before they come back”. She ran over to the other car, grabbed her bag, and jumped in the front of my car. The guy came running out of the woods, doing up his zipper and yelling “She’s a bitch, man! She’ll fuck you around, little BITCH!” He tried to reach in the window after her, but I was already moving (Skoda) and we left him yelling in the road while his friend stood patiently waiting.

There was no bus for a few hours, so I took her back to my house where we smoked marijuana and had a bath together, as you do. She didn’t seem to see the irony so I didn’t point it out. Instead I fed her and put her on a bus the next day…off to go get rescued again, no doubt.