Saturday, May 20, 2006

Death Downunder


People ask me if there are deadly animals in North America. I say yes, bears, cougars, wolves…but you are not as likely to find one curled up in the letter-box as you are here…

Red Back Spider: Relative of the Black Widow, nasty bite.

Funnel Web Spider: Aggressive, bites can kill children / elderly. The male is especially toxic.
Snakes: Eastern Brown, King Brown, Death Adder, Black Snake, Taipan. All require anti-venom immediately if bitten.

Sharks: Hammer Head, Tiger, Great White, Maco, White Pointer, Bull Shark. Bull sharks are known to travel far up rivers. A dog was taken in the river near here last year.

Freshwater Crocodile: Mildly aggressive, ask before you swim. Never swim at night.

Saltwater Crocodile: Very aggressive. Will take surfers. Don’t stand near the river bank.

Stone Fish: Lives in rock pools, toxic spines. Excruciating pain if you step on one.

Blue Ringed Octopus: Tiny octopus about the size of a silver dollar. Extremely toxic suckers. Victims can go into anaphylactic shock in minutes

Box Jelly Fish: Full paralysis and death can occur within seconds of contact.

Even the loveable Platypus has a pair of poisonous barbs on its hind legs.

So what Australian animal causes the most deaths every year? Kangaroos. Kangaroos and wallabies (little kangaroos about 3 feet tall) are like deer on steroids and about half as bright. They sit on the sides of the road at dawn and dusk and launch themselves into the sides of passing cars. So far in Australia I have hit 3 wallabies. Driving to work in the dark at 5am and suddenly its like someone threw a truck tire into the side of the car and you see this brown blur go spinning off into the bush. Wakes you right up, that does.

4 comments:

Christine Bakke said...

Wow, like a travel brochure only better....it's honest! :)

Amanda said...

love the 'wakes you right up' bit!
yep think you got all the lovely Aus creatures there.

exile said...

you forgot abotu the hoganis crocodillias

or

crocodile dundee: very deadly to both box office gross & home video sales

SkookumJoe said...

um, actually, Paul Hogan is not well liked here. He's been seen as a sell-out for years.

And while we're at it nobody, NOBODY drinks Foster's beer here.