Last Exit

My kid is in a walk-a-thon. Basically another school-sanctioned extortion scheme. All to raise money for some silly thing or other, like fire extinguishers or internal walls. I’m giving her 20 cents per lap of the school field. She bores easily, shouldn’t cost me more than $2. You think I’m cheap? Kid’s got more cash than me. She doesn’t earn much, but she has low overhead.

I was in a walk-a-thon once. Ten miles when I was ten years old. The route twisted over hill and hill and at about mile 7 it happened to pass directly past my own house. I would have to walk three miles to finish, then three miles home again. Even then I realized that to purposely walk three miles from where I wanted to be, just to turn around and walk back again was fundamentally wrong. Who were these walk-a-thon people telling me to keep walking? March or die, was that it? The weaker ones shot by the side of the road, peasants staring blankly as we pass by…that kind of thing?

No sir. It was time to stand up and stop walking! Or, ok, stop walking and stand there…or sit if you wanted…the point is I was thirsty and cartoons were on so I went home.

Comments on what you would have done?