Windows: Ahh, Hello Skookum I see you have a new plug and play device. Would you like me to do you a favor and get the drivers for you?
Me: No. I have the disc.
Windows:…’cause I could look on the net for you. Please?
Me: No. I have the disc.
Windows: Would you like me to check the other drives as well…and maybe the net. Just in case?
Me: It is an obscure monitor with a booklet in badly translated Cantonese. You won’t find any fucking drivers…except the ones on THIS DISC.
Windows: (petulantly) Fine. Just uncheck the boxes for everything you DON’T want me to do, I’m going to run the hard drive for no apparent reason, maybe go on the net for an update…
Me: Stop it! (locks firewall)
Windows: Ok, there are 8 files on the disc in two obscurely labeled folders. Which one do you want…Driver Boy?
Me: I don’t know what the hell a Chinese driver file looks like. Can’t you find it?
Windows: Oh, I could. I did offer you know. But noooooooo, you wanted to pick from your own precious disc. So go on pick, smart-guy.
Me: Oh yeah? Well I did pretty good in deductive logic. Let's see, not that read-me file, and that one appears to be a .gif image, and the last two I don’t know. I’ll take that last one, thanks Chuck.
Windows: You sure?
Me: Yes.
Windows: OK?
Me: Ok.
Windows: Wait……………………sucker, that wasn’t it.
Me: Damn. Ok give me the other one.
Windows: You sure?
Me: YES
Windows: OK?
Me: OK.
Windows: Wait………………..wait………ok, wait.....do you want to restart?
Me: Have you got my driver?
Windows: Ahh,ahh,ahh…gotta restart to find out Chief.
Me: Fine, restart.
Windows: You sure?
Me: Fuck off.
Windows: (after world’s slowest restart)…hang on just loading some unnecessary shit to run constantly in the background…won’t be a tick. Ok done, now let’s see…Ahhh Skookum I see you have a new plug and play device. Would you like me to do you a favor and get the drivers for you?
Windows: (after world’s slowest restart)…hang on just loading some unnecessary shit to run constantly in the background…won’t be a tick. Ok done, now let’s see…Ahhh Skookum I see you have a new plug and play device. Would you like me to do you a favor and get the drivers for you?
6 comments:
Hee hee. On a Mac:
1. Plug in new thing.
2. New thing works.
my computer offers me a million things to do with my jump drive when i plug it in, none of them are "leave me the fuck alone"
i mean, i used it a thousand times, you think by now i'd know exactly what i want to do with it.
This is just fodder for those obnoxious Mac commercials with the semi-cute guy playing the Mac and the dorky corporate suit playing the PC.
I hate Macs just on principle, and as a photographer, you'd think I'd know better. But they remind me of those people who are friendly and seem rather harmless, but you know deep down they're thinking that they're better than you. Fucking assholes.
Being a factory manager, you wouldn't think I'd know any better...but Exo is right. Macs can't be trusted. Behind those smooth white gallery lines, lies bitter twisted contempt.
Very true. But the Dark Side always has more fun.
but sandra, according to 5 of the 6 star wars movies, the dark side also has bad resperatory problems, so what then?
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