Part of my job is making sure the people under my supervision don’t kill themselves. One of our apprentices is accident prone. In the past year, between work and home on the farm, this guy has:
-dropped a chisel down the back of his leg – 14 stitches
-broke his thumb – something to do with a sheep (!)
-dislocated his shoulder – fell off a roof
-ran a razor knife across his thumb – sliced right through the nail
-opened up his jeans with a chainsaw – just knicked his kneecap*
-thumb again – ran the tip through a router, squared it off.
And as part of his apprenticeship I have to train him to operate one of these:
This is the Altendorf F-45 elmo CNC controlled sliding panel saw. This machine has two counter rotating blades. The small one rises only 3mm above the table and is hard to see. It will chew your hand up pretty good, but worse still, it will then thrust your hand into the main blade. The main blade is a 350mm carbide-tipped, alternating 96 tooth blade with a 3mm kerf, turning at 4000 rpm, on a 7hp 3-phase motor. This means, in layman’s terms, it will separate your hand from your body if you let it. Then your hand will be neatly sucked up, sent down some pipes, through a big impellor and into the sawdust bin, ready for you to pick up on your way out. Thanks for coming. Next.
*shudddder - can you imagine a chainsaw through the kneecap? He’s still got two years to go, so I think we’ll just put off the panel-saw training for a while yet, see if he survives.
9 comments:
I think you may have a serious contender for a Darwin award working for you.
That's quite a saw. I don't know what half of what you said means, but it sounds terribly butch. Do you think we could adapt it for DNA separation for the baboon army?
yes, it's all very manly stuff, little doctor lady...but do stick around, in case we need you to sew something back on.
Sure, it'll seperate just about anything you throw into it. Cost about $60,000 which is a bit more than I was budgeting ($19)
hey, I didn't know there was a budget for the baboon army. Where do I get the order forms?
Baboon army DNA splicing only requires a rusty hacksaw, which I'm sure we can find for far less than $19. Was that Australian, Canadian or American dollars?
Amanda Info-Packs, including order forms, will be issued shortly.
Good point Exo, let's flip a coin.
$19! $19!! You flash git!
My uncle, Lefty, tried his hand at working in a shop. He didn't make it through his entire internship and now works in a public library.
from your description, it sounds like if you lose something, there's no sewing, you couldn't even mold the part back together
and yet, somewhere on the internet, there's a site for people who have sex with those things.
Exile: I once came across a forum where men were discussing the joys of allowing live fire ants to crawl into thier penises.
Is that the sort of site you mean?
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